Swift Thinking, or The Necessary Lack Thereof

"I suppose I'll have to write my name again." said Tom resignedly.

One of the fears that new writers have is the fear of not being understood. They work very hard describing their scene, and they try to use as much detail as possible. This is all good, but there are lines that can be crossed. These lines can turn a professional-sounding scene description into a mess of words that slow the reader down and make the pros groan from the almost physical pain such constructs can cause. For example:

"The problem with you," Jeff grated menacingly, "is your attitude! If you can't change it yourself, I'll be too glad to help!" He bolted towards his opponent like a greased lightning bolt, his angry fists a rapidly expanding thunderclap of pain and destruction.

I dunno about you, but I'm thinking that little paragraph is a real loser. The writer (me, of course) is trying to convey how angry Jeff feels, and how tense the situation is. He's using a lot of "Tom Swifties" to describe the scene, and it makes the scene, honestly, ridiculous. Let's try it again:

"The problem with you," Jeff said, "is your attitude!" His eyes flashed as he stepped a bit closer to his opponent. His voice fell to a barely controlled whisper. "If you can't change it yourself, I'll be too happy to help." The right hook hit his opponent squarely in the jaw, surprise masked by pain in an instant.

Can you see the difference? The tenseness is still there, the anger shows in both speech and in sparing words. There's no silliness with bad adverbage (my word) or extreme attempts at describing what's happening. The point I'm trying to make is, when you describe your scenes, think about ways to make your character do the actions. Describing too much takes a lot of work, and no one really loves to read it.